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On Relationships

This profound insight was channeled for a client questioning her relationship.

Stay the course, dear one. It is an educational opportunity for both of you and this is what life is all about. So when you think in terms of relationships you think in terms of the idealistic interpretation of what they were interpreted to be by those that came before you and those that are still trying to figure them out. What we would say to you with all that we are is throw those interpretations of relationships away. Remove them from your mind. Release yourself from their grip and don’t allow yourself to be distracted by what anybody else thinks relationships should be. We’ll give you the opportunity to see the bigger picture here, to understand what it is relationships are all about and why it is they seem so difficult to human beings.

Let’s take two beautiful souls. Let’s imagine that they are existing on this earth plane together and that they have chosen as the souls that they are to use this experience to expand more fully into the soulful awareness available to them in this human experience. So, they are trying to use the physical world experience to understand how they maneuver through it as the souls that they are and where they allow the actual experience to affect their ability to know their truth and to be their truth. That’s why we come to the earth plane – just to see what it is like to be physical, to understand what it is like to have these different intellectual interpretations of life and these different emotional inconsistencies affecting our ability to know we are the light, we are the love, and we are the energy of integrity. We have these experiences and we move through these situations but then we feel that sense of desire, that longing for another, our comrade in spirit to join us here on the earth plane.

You also have to remember we are all one so we have many, many, many comrades in spirit and many that raise their hand to come forward in this one particular lifetime and engage an experiential unit of self-awareness with you. So that is a relationship. There are many different definitions for that in this physical world and you some to be relatives – the family, the siblings, the elders, the parents if you will, those kinds of relationships. They are, of course, what humanity sees as some of the most difficult, most trying, most challenging, and most rewarding interactions of the earth plane. Then there are the friends. Then there are the enemies or the foes. Then there are those that we feel these special attractions to – those we feel this deep energetic connection to. So, of course, when something so deep is sparked by something in this physical world the human being feels it, recognizes the connection but doesn’t quite understand or interpret it in its most authentic state. So we take those connections, we take those sparks of recognition, and we build in our mind some interpretation of them. We have as a collective. Humanity has defined that spark as being the coming together of soul mates. Then the fairy tales came; then the ideals were thrown in; then the ideas that it had to be this way or that way and then conditions were placed upon it. So, you see, this is where the convoluted inclination of the human intellect began to shift the natural flow of the relationship experience.

It is so important for you to hear this, dear one. This is what we are looking to clarify in your mind. You want to know what to do with all of these expectations you have in you. You want to know how to discern between what you think you know and what you know. You want to know what is coming from fear, what is coming from love, and how to find your way through this convoluted sense of uncertainty in you.

Well here it is. The connection is real. The connection is energy. There is a sense that you and this other feel for one another and you want to understand what it is you are here to be for one another but you do understand. You do understand that there has been a tremendous amount of self-awareness because of this relationship. The opportunities have been ceaseless. They continue to bring you in to moments of self-realization or at least opportunities for that. Then you battle and you struggle and you wonder am I doing this right? Am I holding the space accurately for myself and for him and am I engaging this reality with a sense of the all that I am? Or am I limiting my perspective to only what I can see through the eyes of my humanness and the interpretations of my intellect? You see, you are battling with that. We don’t want it to be a battle. We want it to be a profound, productive effort on your behalf.

So shift the way you see that first. Even the projection of your expectations of yourself and the way that you judge yourself is all a part of the process of self-realization that this relationship has stirred in you. As you sit in it, as you feel overwhelmed in it, you can most certainly see how hard you are on yourself. Then if you allow yourself to step away from that you can see where you then feel entitled to project those expectations on your dear loved one. So there is this aspect of you that has been so conditioned to be so right, to be so perfect, to be so inclined to do it right, to do it according to what you think is the way it is supposed to be. But you can’t think that, dear one, because the thinking mind will never know, will never allow you to surrender into the acceptance of what is and that is what is supposed to be. Whatever is is what is supposed to be and that is the concept that the intellect has difficulty with.

So you are here in this moment with this young man, with this experience, with this connection, with this relationship, with all these doubts, all these fears, all these anxieties and inconsistencies affecting your ability to see each other for who you truly are in this moment to recognize that you are each lost in your own insecurities. You are each projecting so much of what you feel inside on the other. This is the whole purpose and point of human relationships – to use these others as the sounding boards, if you will, of the reflections of our truth as the means to self-awareness. As you engage these so called difficult situations and life-altering choices or decisions you must pull yourself back from the human that you are and realize that life is an experiential process for the soul and relationships are meant to propel you into a journey of self-exploration. Now think of that. We come together with another to learn about who we are as an individual.

So what makes a relationship work and what defines a lost cause? When is it time to cut and run? That is the question here. When is the time to say we are not moving forward so we must be done with the education we brought to one another or is there something more and I’m not recognizing it or is this a matter of an imbalance in the inclination of the human beings?

There are a few of the different energies that affect two human beings abilities to continue to go forward in this reality together. There is never one simple answer. It is never that, yes, you are meant to be with this one for the rest of your life or, no, you are not meant to be with this one for the rest of your life. It is not that simple. It is not that easy. That, of course, is what the fairy tale would like you to believe. It is what the logical mind would like you to believe and, oh yes, those together have created this idea that if it is right it is easy. If it is right it shouldn’t be difficult. But, my dear, those that have told you that are living on the surface of the real connection that exists between them.

So, you see, that is the issue. In the beginning relationship is based purely, solely, innocently on the divine connection that brought you together and that is exciting! That excitement – ah yes, it is yours but more than you the human. It is the soul’s excitement; the soul’s excitement to begin the process of uncovering the layers of misinformation and misinterpretations so that you can get to the core of who you are as the soul that you are. So, you see, the human being felt the intensity of the relationship on the onset with that initial spark that had you wondering what it was this stirring inside was all about and why this connection had to be explored.

It felt exciting and then all of the logic came in and told you that it is because you have a physical attraction and because we have similar likes and we have a similar sense of what life should be or this or that. There are so many ways the logical mind can attach its interpretations to this divine connection and that’s nice for a while. It does allow the human being to just swim in the energy of pure potential that is the bond between them. But once the mind moves beyond that initial excitement it begins to wander deeper into the core of this connection. It begins to delve into the energies that begin to surface and these energies that begin to surface are the initiation stages of this commitment as souls to grow through this experiential moment in the physical.

This is where the soul begins to take over. This is where the energetic agreements begin to come forth. This is where human beings begin to not only show their true colors but discover their true colors. They discover what it is they keep under the façade of the illusion of perfection, of joy, of happiness and hope. So, over time, each of you flows more fully into your human definition where at first that spiritual spark lifted you almost ethereally right out of your body so that each of you could only see the beauty of your souls, so you could get past anything in the physical that might offend you. It is a part of the process. So now that initial state of spiritual clarity is shifting into a more human energy so that divine spark that reminded you of the connection between you begins to be stretched, begins to get stressed, begins to get covered up under the influence of the human condition in this physical world.

So you feel it and you think, if only I didn’t live in this society, if only we didn’t have these pressures, if only this or that wasn’t affecting us. Our beliefs stay in that state of constant communing but rather than raise your fist at this life you can come to the realization that a part of this process was to utilize the experience to show you how the inconsistencies of the physical world affect your ability to know your truth, to know the love that exists between you, and to honor the journey that you are on together.

When you hear it like this you think in those terms that say, well then every relationship should be fulfilled. There should be no divorce. There should be no separation. There should only be people who stay together and work through the issues because that’s the soulful relationship. No, not so, because there is more than the soul here. There are two human beings with two egos, two logical minds, and two sets of free will that can choose the direction that this experience takes. That’s a part of the growth – acceptance, acceptance and allowance. In other words, if you both came together to confront your fears then you both came into each other’s life to instigate them so that they can surface so you can see them. Your fears, your doubts, your insecurities, your misinterpretations of life, the belief systems that you were handed that don’t fit with who you are as a soul – all of this gets stirred up and all of this is exactly what you requested be stirred up for you. The same goes for the other. Whatever it is he is dealing with is exactly what he, the soul that he is, knows he must face in order to be an energy of integrity, in order to be the most authentic representation of him.

Here is where it gets good. In these relationships where you have two beautiful souls looking to inspire each other to grow and expand through this experiential process and then you have two willing egos that say, “I’m going to take your hand as we walk through the fear and you are going to take my hand as we walk through my fear and we’re going to assist each other in the process. No, I’m not going to direct you and you are not going to direct me. I’m going to follow my truth and see where it leads and support you as you follow your truth and see where it leads.” That’s the stuff of real soulful, committed experiential processes.

If you want to call them relationships call them relationships but we think you should shift now because the idea of a relationship just affects the energy to such an extent that you can no longer see it for what it is. Let it go! Release yourself from the idea of being in a relationship. It is too heavy. It is too much – the conditions being placed on your ability as souls to explore yourselves through life. So we go back to the idea that there are two willing souls and two willing human beings. That doesn’t mean it is going to be all rainbows and butterflies. It means that they have a commitment to work through what it is life brings them with a complete awareness that neither one – neither one – can tell the other what it is they need to do or who it is they need to be. They each have to figure it out themselves and they each have to support each other in those journeys by being open and non-judgmental, by being committed to allowing one another to have the experiences in life that stir up all of the stuff of this human experience that keeps you from your truth.


Now what happens when one soul is kind of willing and the other soul is not sure where they stand on that willingness scale, not sure what it is this is really all about, not sure exactly how far they want to go with this and yet they feel that intense sense of purpose inside of themselves in that connection? Could that be what it is you are experiencing in this moment? Could it be that you, yourself, are having trouble accepting the idea of a relationship being so much different than what you thought it would be? Could you see the benefit of assisting one another in identifying your fears through the processes of life experience when you hold someone’s hand as they lose themself in the fear so that they can find themselves through their efforts at focusing on the love? Now that is the stuff of real working partnerships and it does not come easy in the physical for there is too much convoluted intellectual insecurity in the interpretations of what relationship means.

So you sit here with this beautiful, vibrant soul and you have this connection with this profound energy of truth and you lose yourselves in the illusion and forget the deep spiritual bond and the commitment that you have as souls to go through these extenuating circumstances to find the release that you need so that you can move more fully into that state of authentic expression for you see that is the way to shift the situation. It is by shifting your understanding of it. So regardless of the details of the situations you are experiencing now the idea is is this worth it? Is this worth the effort? You know the mind wants that certainty, that psychic prediction that, yes, this is the man you are supposed to marry because then the mind can say, well, it must be worth it if this is the one.

But it is not a matter of the mind agreeing. It is a matter of the heart recognizing and the soul supporting. It is a matter of becoming aware of the depth of potential here and of the individual inclinations to go the distance, to expose themselves completely to allow one another to see each and every fear that exists within. That is something to ponder because, dear one, most human beings don’t want to see their own fear much less show them to another. That is the state of complete vulnerability and only with a true soul companion can you find your way to that state of mind of certainty and of safety of exposing yourself at such great depths.

So there you have it. That’s the issue. Is he willing to show you his feelings? Is he willing to see his fears? Are you willing to hold the space for him to work through his fears? Then ask those questions of you. Are you willing to see your fears? Are you willing to see what holds you back from being the love? Are you willing to share that? Are you willing to allow another to see right through you?

Now this is the education most human beings need before they engage a relationship so they have an idea of what they are getting into, especially when they meet those that trigger such a deep sense of knowing. That’s when you know the work is going to be real. Now that is a shift in consciousness because before this moment the idea of feeling a profound spark in recognition of a spiritual connection brought about an idea of some state of relationship perfection.

Ah, if we have the spark it must mean we are meant to be is said with all the sparkles and fairy dust that can embellish that idea. It is true, dear ones, but not in the way that it has been glamorized. So get real with it. Is this the soul I came to traverse the ravine of fear with and does he feel the same way? If I bring it to him in this way will he recognize the truth and divinity in this interpretation and will he feel that sense of purpose redefining the inconsistency in interpretation he has of the challenges we are experiencing in this moment? That’s what you are looking for – the one that can hold the space for you, the one that you are willing to hold the space, the one that will lift you up when you are shutting down and the one that you will find the strength to do the same for.

Judgments, dear one, will only keep you separate from your own truth – not separate from him, separate from your truth which is you did not come to judge him. You came to hold the space for him.

This in no way is condemning you for he did the same. He came not to judge you but to hold the space for you. That’s what you both know as the souls that you are. Now it is a matter of asking yourself are our intellects in alignment with that potential that exists within us? Are our egos in positions to recognize this truth and allow this moment in our life to be that experiential process? We’ll give it to you. We’ll give it to you straight. It is worth it if you are with the partner that believes it is worth it as well, for the outcomes are significant. Are you willing to expose yourself completely? Is he willing to expose himself completely? Can you both be honest with one another to the point of complete authenticity?

That is the kind of relationship you are looking to build here and it comes with a lot of work. You have to build the foundation and the foundation is the most effort you will put into this relationship, or not. For you see, too many people find it too difficult to put this kind of effort in to a relationship before they know if it is going to work and we will tell you something. If you don’t put this effort into the foundation of a relationship it won’t work. It will crumble. Look around you and see. Ah, the foundation, that’s the thing you do in the beginning, isn’t it? It is what you create that you want to build upon going forward so you think, well, we’ve been in this long enough, isn’t the foundation done yet? Well ask yourself that.

Is this the foundation of a successful future or is there still more work to be done, more concrete to be laid? In relationships like this these foundations can take years - years of experiential processing, years of moving through experiences and seeing how each of you integrate it: what fears they bring up and how you can help alleviate one another’s fears and how you can share truths and illuminate inconsistencies just by holding the space, just by allowing the experience to be just that – an experience brought forth to assist in the development of the foundation of this future.

So here it is, my dear. The answer to all of your questions is in this interpretation, in this reinterpretation, in this redefinition of relationships. Yes, the human being, that logical mind, is going to feel a little disoriented, a little detached from this certainty because it has been holding on to the fairy tale for so long. But we wish to bring you the clarity and we know that in the fulfillment of these efforts you will find peace, love, and joy in the realization of the benefits of the willingness to make those efforts.

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