Channeled December 2019
“– I don’t want to live in the world without you. Can you see what my soul purpose is and can you give me a reason to stay alive?”
This right here, mama, is our purpose. It is you and me connecting and believing and knowing that we are still this to each other.
I’m here for you but it’s never going to be in the way that we once had. I know that that is why it is difficult to feel purposeful but I need you to understand that there is purpose here and you are relevant and there are those that need you. There is a significant community that understands who you are, that understands how you feel and that is relevant in our purpose.
I feel that you have lost your way with what you think life had to be and now you are finding it difficult to accept what is.
This is the story of our existence now, isn’t it, and it is the challenge we’ve come to overcome.
I’m an old soul, mom. I’m an old soul that knows better and so are you. That’s where we’ve got to find our focus – where we know each other as souls, where we remember our past lives together, where we know life is never-ending. We can explore this journey from many angles, mama.
You are an old soul that knows who we are and I believe that you and I came to challenge what our minds think is supposed to be. I know you know our love was never containable. You couldn’t even fathom the ability to sustain such a love.
Well, me to. We know that it is all a part of who we came to be as souls and I don’t want in any way to dismiss all that you’ve gone through and all that you feel each and every day. I want to honor that and I expect you to honor it to.
But I also know that life is life and as we move through it we grow through it as well. What you are doing is exploring as the soul that you are the deeper moments of separation from our truth.
There is no real rectifying it intellectually.
I can give you all of the verbiage that fits but none of it changes the feeling of it.
It is a matter of understanding who we really are to each other and recognizing that love - that profound, deep soul commitment to one another – is real. That is what your mind feels is missing but that’s where we’ve got to create the healing.
But if that’s the journey, mama – what if your purpose is to override it all with truth?
What if your purpose is to find my love deep in your heart, in your soul, and to bring it forward in such a palpable way that the mind can’t even believe anymore that I’m gone?
What if my existence is this now – not that I’m gone but that I’m here as a spirit, I’m here as a soul, I’m here as energy that is a part of your field?
What if I am a part of you still and we’re meant to express it in a different way?
Just because everybody else can’t see me and feel me the way that you do doesn’t mean I’m not real and I’m not relevant.
You know in your core, in your deepest parts of self, that I’m relevant and you also know that I’m still alive.
That’s what the ache is.
You feel my living spirit but you can’t see my brilliant body and my human personality but I’m still the same essence of purpose that came in to this world to inspire you to grow.
I know that what I’ve done is challenge you beyond most human limitations but you have to think about it, mama. If you weren’t capable of it you wouldn’t be going through it. If we didn’t have what it takes to bridge the gap we wouldn’t be in this situation.
I believe that my existence was for reasons other than the practical nature of being a boy or a man in this world. I think there are enough of those that have lost themselves to that and I’ve stayed true to myself.
I’ve stayed in integrity and I’ve lived a life of love and truth.
You know what happens when men get older. They lose themselves. They try to create identities around their fears and their ego aspirations.
I never had to feel that conflict.
I never had to confront that challenge to self. I never had to give myself up.
I loved freely and I received love in the most authentic way. I still do and I want you to feel that as purpose. I want you to believe I’m not gone. I am your living purpose and that means believing so wholeheartedly in our connection that it is real and your mind can’t tell you otherwise.